I always reinforce the importance of developing and maintaining long-term human relationships, both in business and personal life, to my friends and colleagues. It's so important to try and stay connected with the people, especially the women, who helped you become the person you are today (and will be tomorrow): our mothers, sisters, classmates, co-workers (present and past!), and friends.
When I recently became president of the alumnae association in the Western suburbs of Boston for my alma mater, Mount Holyoke College, the current members told me that the group needed a revival and help reconnecting. So, I decided that for my first event as president, I wanted to leverage my experiences at Care.com to organize an event all about health, wellness, networking, and helping women everywhere strive for a balanced life—just in time for the craziness of the holiday season.
On Monday, November 5th, we held "Amazing Women Energized (AWE): An Evening of Women's Wellness" at the Care.com offices. About 75 women from all over the Greater Boston area (and from all different generations) attended, including a venerated panel of accomplished and inspiring women: Candy O'Terry, Magic 106.7 FM DJ and host of Exceptional Women; Brenda Stanton, founder of The Modern Woman's Toolkit and a Ladies Who Launch Incubator; Nancy Clark, MS, RD, an internationally-recognized sports nutrition expert; and Terri Trespicio, Senior Editor at Body + Soul Magazine and a contributor on Martha Stewart Living Radio.
The panelists and audience members alike shared their thoughts on life, career, family, fitness, and general wellbeing—everything from childhood obesity to finding time for ourselves while juggling successful careers and the demands of personal life. Check out this great photo of our panel submitted by Claudia Kimsky, MHC '79: from left to right are Terri Trespicio, Me, Candy O'Terry, Brenda Stanton, and Nancy Clark. Read on for some of the night's key takeaways so that you, too, can find the inspiration and reassurance needed for a happy, healthy, and fulfilling season.
Food
Time to face facts, ladies: food is not the enemy. On Monday, we heard the gospel of guilt-free eating directly from the experts: it's about moderation, being realistic, and taking a holistic view of the 24-hour and 365-day cycles of nutrition and energy needs so you can live in and enjoy the moment.
Terri from Body + Soul had everyone laughing with her stories about being a chocoholic and curbing cravings / feeling well all winter long by keeping a hot beverage (tea or hot water with lemon) nearby at all times. Then she inspired us even more with her personal story about a near-death experience with sepsis, which taught her to live in the moment and strive to be happy more often for her loved ones.
You never know when your time is up, so be well for your friends and family. Don't insult Auntie Carol by passing on her scalloped potatoes or chocolate mousse this holiday season.
Fitness
Nancy Clark reminded us that it's not realistic to eat three large meals per day, or to torture yourself with activities you don't enjoy. Listen to your body and give it what it needs—not just when you're pregnant but all the time. Eat smaller, more regular meals: breakfast at 7, lunch at 11, second lunch at 3, and then dinner at 7 for fuel and energy all day long. And be sure to incorporate activity into your life versus exercise—find something you love to do and carve out time for it every week.
For Candy O'Terry, swimming is not only her exercise regimen but her therapy. As a former collegiate athlete and diving champion, she says the pool serves as her "me time" and the place where she can truly relax and get re-energized. She also teaches swimming classes in the summertime for her local youth program, which she finds nourishes her soul and gives her the energy to keep going in even the hardest of times career- or family-wise. Find your temple to activity and fitness will become something you look forward to, not loathe.
Giving
When it comes to giving, take a cue from Brenda Stanton and give back to yourself—not just during the holidays, but all year long. Whether it's simply taking a solitary hour each week to go to Starbucks and read a magazine or a book (of the non-work variety!) or meeting up with a friend, that time for re-energizing will make you a more interesting person you can be proud of sharing with friends and family. Brenda also suggests keeping a gratitude journal tracking 3 things every day that you're thankful for, so you can track the things and people that truly make you happy and help you live a joyful life.
When it comes to holiday giving of the gift kind, listen to Terri's advice and give your loved ones your time rather than a material object. Have dinner or coffee or an hour of shopping with a friend or relative so you can catch up on each other's lives than some trinket or piece of jewelry. You will both find it more treasured and memorable.
Home
Remember that your friends and family aren't judging you for your messy car or messy house. They love you and just want to spend time with you, and will forgive a little dirt or clutter—they may even find it reassuring.
Candy told a story about meeting with one of her son's counselors at her home and then offering her a ride home. Candy had been nervous to give the woman a ride at first since, although her house was clean, her car was a mess. Upon stepping into the car, the counselor remarked how reassuring and healthy it was for her son to be raised with a little messiness somewhere in his life. So hang up that vacuum cleaner and spend some time with your kids!
Lastly, one of our audience members chimed in that she used to obsess over having a clean house, until she started spending time in her backyard. Her coworkers started to ask how she found the time for gardening, and she said, "Simple. I stopped cleaning my house!" And she felt true happiness and joy because of it.
Too often in these harried times—especially in the weeks and months surrounding the holidays—we, as women, tend to strive for perfection and wind up with guilt-ridden burnout. Have a wonderful holiday season this year both personally and professionally by keeping this valuable, from-the-battlefield advice in mind instead.
Cheers,
Sheila
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